Why do house churches break up?
Dogmatic and other differences
A few things cause house church congregations to break up, but it all traces back to one basic reason: the human flesh. Sometimes people aren’t spiritually mature enough to crucify their ego in certain situations for the sake of the congregation’s continued existence.
For example, a trivial doctrinal difference can cause a “deadlock” in a congregation that eventually drives them apart. Long after the time has passed, when they look back on it, they cannot believe that the dogmatic difference, which no longer holds the same value today, drove them apart.
Attitudes break up a congregation. Afterwards, they feel guilty about it and blame themselves for not showing a different attitude.
The congregation that decided that there was no way they were going to let differences drive them apart; they survived. Paul’s call to the congregation: “Be persuaded” is of utmost importance here. He is telling the congregation here that we should not be hard-headed. Don’t be stubborn. “Be persuaded even if you feel you are right”. The proverb that says “It is better to be happy than to be right” is also very true here.
We know of congregations that survived for years with dogmatic differences among their members. They simply decided that they were not going to let differences get them down. They decided that unity, love, and relationships were more important than being right. Even though it was sometimes difficult, they always worked around these issues. They always reached consensus in decision-making! What does this statement imply? It implies that there was always someone who was persuaded to accept the least favorable decision.
When this congregation reached its mature stage, they were overjoyed. No one gave them a chance to win, but they did. They all came out much stronger on the other side.
This is the heart of God when it comes to dogmatic differences. No one can force his beliefs on another. He only asks that we accept each other with our differences. This principle is why in the New Testament church and in the early church there were not a bunch of denominations. There was only one church. People could and did accept each other in love and live together in harmony. There was no need to establish another faith or denomination, as people of similar beliefs naturally sought each other out.
No, there was only one church, the triumphant church of God, the body of Christ. There is only one body of Christ.
When the institutional church transformed from a living organism into an organization, it opened many doors for people to pursue their own preferences. Man now determined and implemented his will, ambitions, and preferences in the church. Organizations are managed. Decisions are made, and things are changed. Thus, different denominations arose, and people could join groups where they felt comfortable. Laws, rules, and groupings are the powers that manage and control organizations. This situation is the reason why unity in the church, in my opinion, lies in the hands of the organic house church.
Why? Leaders and denominations are often divided by an excessive number of rules, regulations, doctrines, and constitutions. In house churches, apart from the foundation that was laid by Christ and the apostles, man-made rules and regulations do not exist.
The system must be bid farewell, and people must embrace God’s method of spiritual fellowship. There is no other alternative to the church of God.
God sometimes places us in a home church that believes predominantly differently than we do so that He can teach us to submit. He must teach us that relationships are much more important than doctrines. If you love your brothers and sisters in Christ enough to accept their differences without imposing your beliefs, your faith is perfect.
Paul writes in Philippians 2:12-15 and in Romans 4:13-22 about how we should act with regard to doctrines and differences of faith. It is about attitudes.
Philippians 2:12-15
Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you both to will and to do for his good pleasure. Do all things without grumbling and disputing so that you may be blameless and innocent children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world.
Each of us must individually work out our salvation, and also as a group, the congregation, we must work out our salvation together. As a spiritual family together, as a natural household together, and also as individuals, we work out our salvation in harmony. Everyone must one day give an account to God for his life. Therefore, we have no right to impose our beliefs on others. Therefore, we must also respect and accept each other’s opinions and beliefs in a beautiful attitude. You will one day be responsible for your life; allow others to also decide for themselves about their lives and to be responsible for themselves.
We may see that someone is malnourished, and we are genuinely concerned about it. However, we will not restrain him and compel him to eat the food that we put in front of him. Some people apply the same forceful approach to spiritual food. We can testify about the benefits of certain “foods”, but we leave it to the audience to decide what to do with that information. People should not be pressured, feel guilty, or be coerced or manipulated to adopt our beliefs.
Why do we get angry when we argue certain doctrines? We get angry because the other person does not see “our” point of view. We do not have to. We can be calm about the situation.
Why should he see your point of view? The Holy Spirit teaches us, and He guides us. God is in control, and He shares with each person. In any case, it is important to know what His perspective is. It is, in fact, His teachings and not ours. We can only leave it to Him to bring people with wrong doctrinal beliefs to other insights. Believe me, we were not appointed to do His work.
The Spirit working in the Spirit-filled gatherings of the house church, where Jesus Christ reveals Himself to His church through the Spirit, is precisely the right place for doctrinal corrections.
The Holy Spirit convinces people of Scriptural truths without anyone having to say a word. How does this happen? The Holy Spirit does this by means of “impartation” (From Spirit to spirit). The mind, with its shortcomings, is not involved here, and therefore the person is convinced of the truth without any problems.
We really need to allow God to deliver us and heal us from this evil of “being right” that so many of us suffer from. There is nothing beneficial about it, and it only brings frustration and division. In the house church, we can really be at peace with teaching.
Even if you hear with your own ears how someone in the congregation is preaching a wrong doctrine, maintain peace and harmony and do not correct the person there in front of everyone. Do not embarrass him. Love and relationships are not only more important but also more valuable than doctrines. Leave it to the Holy Spirit. Look at what Paul says in 2 Timothy. 2:14 about this:
Remind them of these things and charge them before the Lord not to fight about words that are useless but only to the destruction of the hearers.
Here we see very clearly that disputes and arguments, as mentioned in 1 Timothy 6:5, are not only useless quarrels but also lead to envy, strife, slander, and evil suspicions. It leads to the destruction of the listeners. Therefore, this type of dispute of words inflicts great damage on the lives of those who have to listen. Out of respect and a sense of duty towards those around you, it is wise and responsible to avoid these types of conversations at all costs, even if you believe that someone should say or do something to correct the false teaching. As soon as one person starts to become a bit emotional (frustrated or upset), it is the right time for someone to stop the conversation. To take a quick break or to completely change the subject are both good options.
Yes, we do need to debate doctrines, but it must be done in a good, friendly way where there is no emotions and resentment involved.
The Holy Spirit is always in our midst, and He hears what is said. He is always faithful. He will reveal the truth to the listeners. Perhaps on another occasion, He will convey the truth about the incorrect doctrine to everyone in His own unique way.
Do not try to do it all by yourself. It will always produce the wrong results. Wait until someone asks your opinion before you express it. Leave teaching to the Holy Spirit, who will teach and convince people. With certain aspects of Christianity, or in some situations, leave it to the visiting fivefold ministry when they present teaching sessions. Yes, we teach each other in the house church, but it must always be a Spirit-led activity from the heart of Christ in you. It must not come from yourself.
Paul even emphasized the rights of each person regarding their faith and beliefs in Romans 14:13-22.
Let us therefore no longer judge one another, but rather decide this, not to put a stumbling block or obstacle in a brother’s way.
What is this obstacle or stumbling block? By forcing your conviction on him. He says the following in verse 17:
For the kingdom of God is not food and drink, but righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit.
What is Paul saying here? He is saying that peace and joy and righteousness in the Holy Spirit are more important than the issue of food and drink or the celebration of special days.
In verse 20, he says that we should not destroy the work of God for the sake of food.
In verse 22, he says that we must have faith, but we must keep it to ourselves before God.
What does Paul say? Leave it alone, my brother. Be quiet. Keep it to yourself. Don’t argue about these little things. Leave him to believe as he wants. If he doesn’t want to eat certain meats, leave him. If he wants to celebrate certain days as special days, leave him.
It is clear that everyone should be accommodated with regard to their religious beliefs. He is not harming you. He may harm himself by not believing in divine healing, for example, but that is between him and God and to his detriment.
We really need to be calm about teachings and tolerate each other’s beliefs. We also need to be patient with regard to spiritual growth. Be patient with your spiritual brother with compassion and love. This is much more important than correct teachings. You have been on the path much longer than he has. Allow him the opportunity to become familiar with the will and ways and the word of God. Don’t judge him. He will get there eventually because he has the Holy Spirit teaching him everything he needs to know.
However, note that we do not allow people to teach whatever they want. If a particular person stubbornly returns to wrong teachings, the congregation should allow the person to say whatever he wants to say regarding the specific doctrine on another occasion, not during the normal meeting. Then the congregation should reach a consensus on it and share it with the person. In certain cases, they will inform the person that they have listened to what he had to say and that they take note of it. Although he is entitled to believe so, that may not be how the congregation in general see it.
He is now expected to keep this doctrine to himself and no longer speak about it to congregation members. The person in question must now die to himself, submit to the congregation’s decision, and come to terms with it. If he remains obedient, he will enjoy the benefits of it.
History has taught us that Christians in the institutional church have always imposed teachings on others. From the time of the early Catholic Church to the present day, they hold meetings about it; the leaders make an official decision on a specific doctrine, and the result of the decision is officially announced. It becomes part of the denomination’s dogmatic teachings or constitution, and everyone throughout the denomination must simply accept it as such. It is literally imposed on the entire church or denomination. Read some history books of the church to discover the established decisions and doctrines and their consequences.
This has caused terrible division, discord, bloody persecution, and the acceptance of devilish doctrines in the church. The very thing that the institutional church leaders fear so much has become their archenemy.
Institutional religion also propagates the fear of the trappings of heresy, and rightly so. Ironically, if we are not in a system of religion, we have the freedom to steer clear of what the Holy Spirit does not teach. The truth is that when we are locked into institutionalized Christianity, we find ourselves most vulnerable and exposed to spiritual domination and manipulation.
– Johan Carstens
God’s method is that everyone is responsible for handling doctrine responsibly. Test it with Scripture, with others, and the Holy Spirit, and if necessary, keep it to yourself until you are sure you understand the word of God. You don’t have to take a bunch of people with you down a wrong path. Everyone has the Holy Spirit and doesn’t need anyone to teach them.
In house churches, when fivefold ministers preach incorrect doctrines in the house church congregation, the congregation follows the same method. After the congregation reaches consensus, they ask the minister in question not to preach the specific doctrines. If he submits to their request, the congregation should tolerate him; if he refuses to desist, the congregation should reach consensus to prevent the minister in question from visiting or ministering in the congregation.
No one is above anyone else. All are accountable to one another. This happened relatively frequently in the early church. Even Paul was forbidden to teach in certain house churches, although this was caused by another fivefold minister who influenced the congregation to reject Paul for wrong reasons.
This is God’s method of functioning and His system of protection in the church.
Let’s say for the sake of argument that the fivefold minister’s teachings were not actually wrong; then it doesn’t matter. He should still submit to the congregation’s decision and not preach those teachings when he visits them. The congregation may decide that it is not yet spiritually mature enough to accept the doctrine in question and that the minister should wait.
He should honor such a decision and submit to it. The Holy Spirit will bring the truth home to the congregation in due time. There is no rush. This is how the process functioned in Biblical times and in house church congregations today. Jesus Christ Himself is in control of the congregations and shares gifts inspired by the Holy Spirit with his church, so the revelation of correct doctrine is just a matter of time. It always comes.
Where do house church principles come from?
The following questions can always be asked: Where did the New Testament church get all this stuff? Where did they hear it? Who told them to meet together as they did? We see the answer in Scripture. Jesus came to establish the kingdom of God here on earth. Everything He did and said would be very significant. Yet one could say that Jesus did not really give specific practical guidance or measures regarding congregational activities and gatherings. Apart from what He did and said before His crucifixion, which are actually general truths, His ministry does not really cover the liturgy.
But then we see a very important passage in the Bible that proves exactly the opposite:
Acts 1:3-4
To whom also he showed himself alive after his passion by many infallible proofs, appearing unto them during forty days, and speaking of the things concerning the kingdom of God. And being assembled together with them, he commanded them that they should not depart from Jerusalem, but wait for the promise of the Father…
Jesus was on a mission. He would not have come to do half a job. He came to do exactly what the Father sent Him to do. Here we see very clearly that after His resurrection Jesus performed many more signs and spoke about the kingdom of God for another forty days. The writer of the book of Acts does not record these signs or His oral training about the kingdom of God. Yet it is clear that Jesus must have done intensive training during those forty days. This period is when He gave the practical guidelines.
One can clearly see that the apostles were not at all in the dark or uncertain about how this new organism called “church” should function. On the contrary, everything went smoothly. Look what we read in Acts 2:42-47
And they devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayers. And fear came on every one, and many wonders and signs were done through the apostles. And all who believed were together and had all things in common. And they sold their possessions and goods and distributed the proceeds to all, as anyone had need. And day by day, continuing with one accord in the temple and from house to house, they broke bread and ate their food with gladness and singleness of heart, praising God and having favor with all the people. And the Lord added to the church daily those who were being saved.
These people knew who they were, what to do, where to go, and had God’s favor. The “continuing in the apostles’ teaching” was not just the words and actions of Jesus that we read about in the four Gospels. This was the specific message that Jesus shared intensively with them during the forty days following his resurrection. That is why Jesus said to them: “…and teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you”.
We wouldn’t know what it was if the foundational apostles hadn’t done exactly that (learned what Jesus taught them) and also immortalized it on paper for us. This is primarily where the epistles come from. It is what they heard from Jesus during those forty days that the apostles wrote in the epistles. He taught them how the church should come together, how to function, and how they should live the shared community life together through the indwelling of Jesus Christ and the leading of the Holy Spirit. There is no doubt about this statement.
These were his last commands before he ascended to heaven. We can also deduce from the Scriptures that Jesus later often appeared to Paul and trained him thoroughly, just as He did with His other apostles. Paul also wrote about these commands and instructions in his epistles. This is why the epistles are so dynamic and so weighty in value regarding church doctrine. These are actually the words of Jesus Christ. Paul and the other apostles taught the people what Jesus taught and commanded them during these appearances.
If we apply the epistles to the daily life of God’s family, we are following Jesus Christ and the apostles’ teachings. We must not deviate from that. If the institutional church defends what governs organized religion as Scriptural, then it is wrong. You can read everything back into Scripture if you want to, but you will misinterpret Scripture. Remember, the New Testament, from the book of Acts to the book of Revelations were addressed to the early Christians. It did not address the organized church which came many years later in the days of Constantine and Theodosius.
By the time when Theodosius made the church the official state religion, imposing doctrines on its members was already a reality. The early church did not impose doctrines and dogmas on others. Such a practice would again lead to grouping, and such groupings defending their doctrines by reading them back into Scripture. The house church removes this loophole. We learn the Scriptures; the Holy Spirit teaches us through Spirit impartation. He confirms it in His word, and no one has to defend it. It is passed from spirit to spirit; the mind is not involved, and the Scripture confirms the truths. We impart knowledge, we teach, and we prophesy, but we leave the conviction to the Holy Spirit.
It is this very attitude that makes us mature sons of God. We teach everyone to truly rely on God and the Holy Spirit for guidance, wisdom, and teaching. We connect every person to the guidance of the Holy Spirit. We connect every person to Jesus Christ by teaching them to deepen their relationship with Him. We emphasize the fact that every person has the Holy Spirit and is a full-fledged son of God. There need be no human mediators between us and God. God wants to have a personal relationship with every person. This applies to everyone, regardless of their identity or human abilities. God works with the spirit of man, and everyone’s spirit is exactly the same. In general, no one has an edge or superiority over others. Do not believe that lie. Believe me, it is not the truth.
We do tremendous harm to people by standing between them and God. We become a “guide” between them and Christ. Such actions bring distance and damage to the relationship between such people and Christ.
Everyone in the house church congregation must be well-versed in these principles regarding doctrines. Along with this, everyone must have an attitude of love, acceptance, and respect regarding religious beliefs. Finally, everyone must officially and actively commit to ensuring that doctrines do not create a divide between them and their spiritual family.
Stagnation
Another factor that can cause house churches to break up is when there is a period of stagnation. Things have just suddenly started to cool down. The gifts of the Spirit have diminished; there is no freshness in the meetings, people are starting to get bored, everything is starting to become routine, and the excitement of a few weeks ago is just gone. No one knows what is going on, and everything is just colorless and average. Humans are creatures who can become bored very easily.
Many people do not like routine, and we live in a world of entertainment and social stimulation like never before. Just think of television, social media, and the film industry. Whether we like to hear it or not, our church activities compete to some extent with our social life and our lifestyle.
The Holy Spirit is in control of our lives and our church activities. If He is not in control, then we are dealing with a dead religion. However, there are also many practical methods to maintain change and excitement in church activities, and these should be done as soon as such a period of stagnation has arrived.
However, we must act wisely here because there are practical complications or pitfalls that the congregation can fall into if they are not vigilant. One pitfall is pursuing congregation activities that aren’t suitable for the congregation at that stage. For example, a few overzealous members of the congregation may persuade the entire congregation to become very actively involved in evangelistic outreach. It may be a young congregation with young members or a few old institutional church members who are actually “detoxing”.
They may have been so involved in church activities that they just want a break. They are now learning many new things, and their attention is now on this new path of discovery and adventure. They want to apply what they are learning in their lives. To focus their attention now on other activities would be pointless.
Experience has taught us that a young congregation should not immediately undertake any projects or outreaches. They are still spiritually weak, not yet closely united, do not yet completely trust each other, and will struggle with it. This is rather a time of “looking in” than “looking out”. The focus is on the group and on the individual within it. Together with the Holy Spirit, “perspectives are re-evaluated”, “adjustments are made”, “issues are sorted out”, “new things are chewed over”, “principles are evaluated,” and so on. Everything is new, and the congregation is not ready to give their attention elsewhere.
On the contrary, we have found that all church activities work best when they are a natural outgrowth of the Holy Spirit’s work. Everyone then knows that it comes from God and that it is the right time. This includes prayer times, evangelistic outreaches, and any other projects. If it is the work of zealous Christians, it is not the right thing to do. If the Spirit is working in the church, it is life, powerful, and fruitful. When the indwelling Jesus Christ controls our church activities, then we cannot make a mistake. The Jesus life is and remains the only true and faithful anointing in our lives.
As you have seen, even prayer times are not automatically governed by legalistic rules. The Holy Spirit initiates times of intervention, prompting the congregation to pray. And even then, such prayer will only be periodic. “We must pray” is usually a religious belief. When a time of prayer is initiated by the Holy Spirit, everyone will know it. When you are led to pray in your private time, you will know it.
All congregation activities are different from what we are used to. Evangelism was carried out in the institutional church in certain ways. Social and community outreach was carried out in certain ways. We can say the same for all other congregation activities. This delay is another reason why the congregation must wait on all kinds of projects and outreach. We need wisdom and must first be spiritually equipped to accept this responsibility and carry it out successfully. Be calm and wait on the Holy Spirit.
Stagnation is caused by too little interaction with each other. The more we are involved in each other’s lives, the better. Family activities bring excitement. There is then more to do and more to talk about.
Things that can be done to overcome stagnation are the following:
Men and women can meet separately every other week, in addition to the weekly congregation meeting. When the women meet, the men look after the children and vice versa. These meetings are exclusively for team building and getting to know each other. It is a time for talking, visiting, playing, giving advice, and so on. A good habit is to always start the meeting with singing and worship, testifying a little, and talking about spiritual issues. Then it should move on to playing, talking, and doing fun things. Everyone should become acquainted with each other and gain trust in each other. It should be a secure environment for each person, where they can receive valuable advice and discuss their concerns or matters that are important to them. And of course, it should be a place where they can trust that their private information is safe.
Quarterly Sleepover Sessions – Again, the men alone and the women alone should meet every three months.
The session should start early on a Saturday morning and finish late on Sunday afternoon. During these weekends, the regular congregation meeting should be canceled. Again, the other sex should watch the children while the other half has slept over. Those brothers or sisters who cannot sleep over should be motivated to participate at least during the day if they can. These sessions are meant to foster trust, acceptance, and love among participants.
The women should play all kinds of games such as “charades”, “Pictionary,” and board games, watch a video, eat popcorn and chocolate together, talk half the night away, sing together, exchange gifts, and so on. The men can go camping, go on a fishing expedition, watch videos, teach each other how to be romantic towards their wives, read a book together, eat together, and play games.
Throughout the year, we should engage in various activities together every week. These activities are also designed to get to know each other and help each other become “family”. Men can play sports together, play golf, go to a cricket or rugby match, play paintball, go shooting darts, play volleyball, go out to eat together, invite each other over for dinner, enjoy a men’s night, play a cricket match with the boys, go jogging together, have a community game day by playing cricket or something else against the women and girls, and so on. The women can exercise together, go out to eat together, make a “scrapbook” together, keep a circle journal up to date, write a recipe book together, organize a Pampering day, organize a “makeover” for one of the sisters, enjoy a sisters’ night, take turns teaching each other a hobby, play mini golf, and so on.
These “getting to know each other” activities should not be taken lightly. They are, in fact, the “foundation” for shared community life. They are the beginning of being “family.” We must eat together, we must sing together, we must have fun together, we must share together.
Someone in the congregation should also keep the “congregation register”, which is basically just a list of the names, email addresses, phone numbers, and birthdays of everyone, including those of the children, up to date, and regularly give a copy to each congregation member. A real effort should be made to celebrate each member’s birthday in some way, even if it is just a small occasion like going out for ice cream or drinking a milkshake. The same should be done when someone is promoted at work, achieves a milestone in sports, graduates, or experiences other significant events.
Burnout
When overzealous children of the Lord take on too many activities, projects, outreaches, and prayer actions, it can eventually become harmful to the congregation. When such a situation happens, they should seriously reflect on it. The Holy Spirit will never drive a congregation to this place. Just as laziness is not beneficial, so too is overzealousness a problem in the congregation of God. A balance must always be maintained.
Institutionalization
When a gifted person begins to gain the admiration of the congregation members, they begin to look up to him and also systematically become dependent on his input and ministry. This can sometimes lead to the institutionalization of the congregation.
What actually happens here, sometimes intentionally but other times innocently, is that such a person systematically becomes a positional leader in the congregation. When they wipe their eyes again, they are no longer an authentic house church. They begin to walk the same path as the institutional church, and not long after that the congregation begins to suffer the same “dead pressure” condition of the institutional church. The living organism withers and the organization flourishes. One notices this when the Spirit’s gifts begin to decrease, and congregation members begin to become passive. Our experience with this type of trend is that dissatisfaction eventually emerges as the signs and rituals of the institutional church gradually resurface. The congregation will eventually perish.
It is for this very reason that the congregation must reach a consensus on this from day one. No one should be allowed to appoint himself, like Diotrephes of 3 John 1:9, as a positional leader in the congregation. Even a small, practical arrangement should be prohibited in this regard.
When a fivefold minister visits a congregation, he picks it up quite easily. It may not be official, but the fivefold minister will know that a positional leader is present in the house church in question. Someone has stepped into a position. He recognizes the signs and discerns them in the Spirit. Human leadership always undermines the flow of the Holy Spirit because he begins to become an “intermediary” between God and man. Why? The people begin to become passive and look up to him for spiritual nourishment and pastoral care. They cannot hide it.
Despair and discouragement
Occasionally it can happen that a congregation has just gone through too many crises and trials and cannot really reach consensus on certain things. The congregation has experienced a lot of discussion and action, leaving them in a state of shock. Everyone is afraid of offending someone, so they are overly cautious and unsure how to proceed. Decision-making has become almost torture, and everyone feels a little depressed. Congregation activities have been scaled down, and there is not much going on in the meetings. Still, the congregation does not want to give up. However, if they cannot resolve the situation, the congregation will eventually break up.
It is crucial to mention here that it is the job of the fivefold ministry to visit house churches and help them get through all these phases. This is their ministry work in the body of Christ. They help to identify problems, they provide advice, and they equip the churches to master the different growth phases. This is precisely why the fivefold ministry’s function is so important. The church cannot do without them. They help, they encourage, and they give very important advice, but eventually it depends on how the church handles each situation.
The congregation should always allow the fivefold ministers to visit them precisely to assist them in their spiritual growth. Wolves (fivefold ministers who visit house congregations to cause harm – unknowingly or intentionally) must be kept away, but true ministers must be allowed in. The congregation’s growth to maturity is unlikely without their advice and ministry. The Scriptures clearly state that the fivefold ministry was given by God to equip the saints for their ministries.
It can happen that fivefold ministers with hidden agendas cause harm to a congregation in question. The wrong thing for that congregation is to now adopt an attitude of overprotection by refusing to let the fivefold ministry do its work. Not everyone has hidden agendas, and the church cannot grow without the fivefold ministry. The congregation that rejects the fivefold ministry is committing spiritual suicide.
The Practical House Church Manual was written by ASR Martins
